It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

That's right folks, it's Draft Day.

The 2012 VLMRS draft was full of firsts and had plenty of seconds and thirds as well. Here's a quick recap of the festivities from what I can remember.

• After a meandering 3.5 hour drive with No Feelings in the commissioners bangbus of corruption, we arrived to find Skrillex and doctotors dyking it out on the back porch. Fact. HandsomePants and SB1070 arrived shortly thereafter and we were promptly berated for making to much noise at 10:30 on a Friday.
• Grand plans were made to buy supplies and begin smoking meat around 9. As usual meat smoking commenced promptly at noon.
• For the first time ever, HandsomePants was hissy-fit-less as the draft was set up outdoors within close proximity to the meat smoker.
• For the first time ever, multiple dildos suddenly appeared as the Birdmen arrived. Hardly a coincidence.
• The most orderly constitutional convention was held, with sweeping rule changes adopted. The league will never be the same.
• The commissioners integrity was repeatedly questioned. Fortunately the airing of grievances portion was short, as the entire convention involved grievances being aired.
• The commissioner survived impeachment proceedings. The proceedings were not legitimate as it was simply a ploy by the commissioner and No Feelings to give the appearance of conflict to cover up a long history of collusion.
• The championship bucket was shared, sans champion Dirty Dirty Sanchez. However proof of conflict other than a baby shower was timely provided.
• The draft went off without major incident. HandsomePants kept Brady despite being outside the "spirit of the rules."
• Doctotors disappeared into the night, however he was the least Batman-like character of the bunch.

The whole event was a great success. No Feelings looks like the preseason favorite to win it all. Good luck.

 

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