Why Your Team Sucks: Birdmen

Not surprisingly the Birdmen went from obscurity to quasi relevance this season with a Drew Bree's led roster that has underperformed but has the potential to explode any give week. (Explode like the commissioners butthole after eating kielbasa.)

After finishing dead last and being called out by Fecophocles during the offseason, Birdmen have taken flight like a flock of dildo loving birds. Check the resemblance below.

Despite lofty projections, Birdmen have yet to face the upper echelon of the league and halfway through the regular season was only able to muster a 4-3 record, losing to both Robinsons and Dirty Dirty Tebow Sanchez. Losing to those teams is like losing to the male nurses.

Tough matches are on the horizon with Fecophocles, No Feelings, and the overachieving 27 Tampa (who we expect to have a Yankee-like collapse) on tap for weeks 9-11.

Also questionable are the trades made by Birdmen, as they follow up a trade-raping by Handsome Pants (less) swapping Antonio Gates for Aaron Hernandez and picks, with a questionable sell-low on Brandon Lloyd for 5th and 10th round picks.

Taking a quick spin around the Birdmen roster, starting Philip Tanner (a move that indicates Birdmen is either paying attention to football or having his fiancé run his team) is a clear act of desperation when stuck in bye week hell. Of course, even when active Birdmen's #2 and #3 RBs suffer from what have become clear two back situations, and both may be on the wrong side of the carries split going forward.

We expect an easy week for Birdmen going against 10ThingsNotSkrillex (why? See below) but who knows, he's lost to far worse teams before.