Reality Check

Ok, so three days into the first week of pre-Super Bowl hype I have heard some of the most ridiculous things ever said in the history of sports. I will address these in this column, but also point out why the Patriots (in my opinion) will win, sending Mercury back to the comforts of his opium den where he has been for the last 30 years (well if you don't count the time he spent in jail). Ever suck dick for coke?

First off the assinine:

On WFAN's Evan and Joe in the mid-day ( as usually enjoyable show) they said that A Giant victory would be fitting because "no one deserves it more than NY fans." This was followed by, "this city has waited a long time for a celebration." Oh, I'm sorry, what's that, i thought you said...oh right, YOU, can suck my balls. Do I even need to point out the absurdity in this statement? I'll give you this, at least it isn't the Jets and their douchebag fans, Giant fans are far suprerior to those pieces of rat shit.

Secondly, Mercury Morris, despite looking out his peephole and seeing Tom Brady with white roses, said if the Pats pull this off, they will be the second best team of all time. Thanks Mercury, let's go to a first grade classroom, put down 19 cupcakes in one corner and 17 in the other and ask which they would rather have, or maybe even more simply, which one has more. I think you know the answer. Following this logic, Honus Wagner and Ty Cobb are the best baseball players ever, Michael Jordan is behind a long list of all time greats, his '96 team is inferior to the Celts, Lakers and Pistons, and of course, the Godfather is better than Godfather II. It's called evolution brotha, and your about to go the way of the Do-Do Bird.

Now on to more important things. Let's detach emotionally and think this through together.
What are the best arguments for the Giants beating the Pats? Running game, sick d-line. That about sums it up. A few points:

Fun n Gun:
The game will be a track meet in Arizona, gun to your head, who ya got, Moss/Stallworth/Welker/Gaffney/Watson or Madison/Ross (both hobbled)?

No More Dicking Around:
Am I the only one who noticed once Brady and Moss broke the records, the Pats loosened right up and took control of the game? No one will be worrying about cutting a record breaking ball in half in this one. And is there any chance a guy named Hixon breaks one for a TD again?

The Rush Stops Here:
The NY front line is a force, however, we quickly forget the team that mastered the screen pass and has Welker running two yard cuts for 5 yard gains.The name Kevin Faulk should make Giants fans cringe.

32 Flavors:
But wait, the Giants gave the Pats a game and have so much more confidence now. Yeah, the Pats D also gave Eli straight vanilla defense in a dish. Once the Pats blitzed with some consistency? I'm recalling an Ellis Hobbs pick to set up the go ahead score. Any chance Belichick allows Eli to sit back there and throw like the first game? Same goes for the offense, less Maroney less TE presence. Think banana mango peach lime Frank's Hot Sauce on a warm cone (a personal favorite of TDX).

Injuries:
The Giants had their share of problems for sure, including Shaun (O'Hara) of the Dead. But the Pats were missing their starting left guard and left tackle. Continuity counts, big time.

Experience:
If the Pats fall behind, you think they'll panic given three previous victories by a total of nine points? I'm going with no. Can we say the same about the Giants?

Coach Speak:
I'm a Tom Coughlin fan, but let's be honest here, much is made of the fact that the Giants just played the Pats and therefore have film on them, but the same is true on the other side. Bill Belichick, two weeks, four film samples? Say what you want about him but he enters the conversation of best coaches of all time. I think you know where you'd put your money.

The spread, probably not, and it is far from a sure thing, but most likely the Pats will be doing their best Johnny Drama impression in two weeks. VICTORY!!